In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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