Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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