i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
