Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
