wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you win again, gameday.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
