none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
