i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize