We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
