At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
