I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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