Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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