To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.