mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.