i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.