Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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