Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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