We won't sleep together?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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