just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
