Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
