angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
