i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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