this boner is exhausting
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
