i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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