I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
