Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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