New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
