I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
