brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
