The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Randomize
