haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
