are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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