After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
