The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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