my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
