I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
