I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So. Much. Porn.
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