you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i now understand why vodka
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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