i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
