so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
