let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
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Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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