She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
