on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
