we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
