I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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