it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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