Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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