Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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