Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
