It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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