she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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