textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
