Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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