oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
