I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
