Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
