her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
