First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
