I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Drake has all the answers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
