she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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