I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
