I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
