I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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