I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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