I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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